Vigilante No More
by Moonsetta
Summary: Warning: Lots of fluff and CHARACTER DEATHS! None of the deaths are the turtles. Everyone needs help sometimes, especially during a series of unfortunate events. Bonds prove stronger than ever and now it’s so easy to cry. Everyone needs a big brother.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own TMNT.

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"Thank you Usagi," Leo said as he turned back to his samurai friend, "That was an amazing adventure."

"I am glad you enjoyed the trip to the Kimiino Mountains," Usagi said.

"Yeah, maybe I should take more time off in the future."

"You are welcome in my world anytime Leonardo-san."

"And you're welcome anytime here Usagi."

"Thank you, my brother," Usagi said before he turned back to the portal, "I hope to see you again soon."

"As do I Usagi," the blue banded turtle said with a smile.

As Usagi stepped back through the portal and Leo turned to greet his father and two youngest brothers no one took notice of the red banded turtle hidden in the shadows, a deep scowl on his face.

* * *

"So, how was it?" Raph asked as he watched his older brother run through a kata.

Leo turned and smiled at his immediate younger brother, "It was an adventure, I never knew exploring old mines could lead to so much, there was actually still gold in some of them. Of course, I never thought we'd run into a band of ogres though. We really fought well together, it makes me wish I had known Usagi earlier, he could've been very helpful in many of our battles and-Raph are you okay?"

The leader had stopped in the middle of his explanation and caught the slight change in Raph's expression. A strange emotion pooled over Raph's eyes and filled them to the brim.

"I'm fine," Raph spat, "Glad ya had fun."

Ok, now Leo was definitely concerned, could it be that Raph was still-?

Before the thought could be completed, Raph stormed out of the dojo.

* * *

Leo frowned as he watched Raph stumble out of the elevator and into the lair. He glanced towards the small lab on one side of the lair and heard the whirl of a tool. He pressed his lips together in thought for a few seconds before making his way to ask a few questions to his purple masked brother.

What he didn't see were the eyes following him. Small pools of salty water set inside eye sockets as a begging gaze followed his every foot step.

Leo entered Don's lab and knocked lightly on one of the tables to alert his tech loving little brother that he was there. Don finished cindering two pieces of metal together then backed up and took off his goggles.

"Ok what injury did you hide this time?" Don asked with a skeptical eyes.

Leo frowned, "Do I ever only come to you when I'm hurt?"

"No, it's usually when you've been hurt for a couple of days that you come to me, so what is it?"

Leo shook his head, "I'm fine Don. I wanted to ask about Raph. Is he-"

Don sighed, "Oh, that. Yeah, he still is. He's barely been eating or sleeping and he won't let me give him anything to help."

Leo mentally nodded his head, he refused drugs just as much as Raph did. It drove Don crazy when they refused things like sleeping pills.

"It's been months," Don murmured, "I don't think he'll ever get over it Leo."

"He won't, it's just something you can't get over," Leo said sternly.

Don took a deep breath, "I was hoping you could do something."

"Me?"

"Yes, you," Don said with a fixed glance at the eldest, "Leo, you were his first best friend. Mikey and I have tried everything we know. He either gets angry or depressed."

"It's Raph Don," Leo explained, "Don't you think he'd lash out against me the most?"

"Not if you remind him," Don said as he turned back to his work, "Look Leo, we can't do anything, not even Master Splinter can."

That surprised the blue banded turtle, Raph usually lashed out in anger at almost everyone but to ignore help from his sensei? This was something else.

Leo took a deep breath, "Ok, I'll try."

Don smiled before frowning and turning back to his work as the eldest walked out of his lab.

* * *

Leo found himself back in the dojo that night after the team left their evening practice. The blue banded turtle had trained while he was away but he did have to work on a few things to keep up to normal speed. When he turned to go into a kata he froze to see his red banded little brother in the doorway, his eyes downcast.

"Raph? What's wrong? Are you ok?" Leo asked uncertainly.

Raph glanced at the floor and walls rather than at his older brother, "Ya had fun right? The week in Usagi's world?"

"Yes, I quite enjoyed the vacation, I think I should take one more often," Leo said with a slight smile as he played the past week over in his head.

He remembered the joy of just running, in grass! Meeting honorable warriors who shared his view of bushido, training in the sun, eating unusual but delicious food, drinking fresh spring water, riding a horse, sleeping under the stars, strolling into a town with no danger of being jumped and dragged off to be dissected and best of all, being with his friends who he rarely saw.

"Leo?" Raph mumbled quietly, pulling the leader from his thoughts.

"Yes Raph?" Leo asked back.

"He's a good friend right?" Raph muttered wistfully.

"Raph, he's my best friend," Leo explained and walked towards his little brother.

"He, um he called you…" Raph trailed off as he backed up one step.

"Huh?" Leo asked and then remembered something that might have caused Raph to act such a way.

Leo tilted his head, "You mean when he said, brother?"

Raph's silence confirmed the thought.

_TBC…………_

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_Guess what? I LOVE REVIEWS!!!_

_~Moonsetta_


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: I'm not really sure what I'm writing.

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

Leo took a deep breath and relaxed his mind.

"Raph is this about that or what happened three months ago?" Leo asked.

Raph took another step back, his eyes sill glued to the floor as he whispered under his breath, "Both."

The eldest frowned and took a step forward. Raph didn't move.

"Raph, yes, Usagi's my best friend and yes, I see him as a brother. He's proven himself time and time again as a noble and dedicated warrior. He's saved my life."

"So that's how it is?" Raph asked in a shaking voice.

Leo stepped forward and placed his hand on Raph's shoulder, "Raph, you're my brother too and my best friend as well."

Raph took another step back and his eyes flew up to meet Leo's, unbelieving. That didn't make sense, a best friend was one person er being and there wasn't two…right?

"Raph, you're my little brother, nothing changes that. I never stopped being your best friend."

Leo was shocked by the small pools of water building behind Raph's eyes but continued on, "And I certainly **never **stopped being your brother."

Raph slammed his eyes shut, "Leo I-"

His voice cracked and Leo stepped forward once again to pull Raph into a hug. These moments were always rare between them but with what happened weeks before…well…maybe.

Raph himself was not a turtle normally to give into emotions but nightmares haunted his mind and he knew if anyone could get rid of them, it would be his older brother. With little hesitation his arms circled Leo and his face rested on the eldest's shoulder before it grew damp with silent tears.

"Shh," Leo cooed while pulling his little brother closer.

The eldest was at a loss of what to say. 'It's ok' or 'It'll be ok' would just make him a liar and 'Don't worry' would be like telling him to not breathe. Instead Leo just held on tightly letting his little brother know he was just…there. There's no telling how long they stood like that but at some moment Leo lead his brother out of the dojo. The rest of their home was unusually quiet.

"Bro?" Raph whispered, his head still plastered against Leo's shoulder.

"Yes Raph?"

"You wouldn't leave too would you?" he murmured against the eldest's shoulder.

"No," Leo said guiding his immediate younger brother towards the couch.

Once settled Raph's silent tears doubled and small whimpering sounds came from his throat.

"I-I tried I-," Raph stuttered before his voice faded into whimpers once again.

Leo pulled the red banded turtle closer and his voice faded to a whisper, "Shh, I'm here."

Raph's shoulders started trembling. He was clearly on the edge of breaking down. Leo wasn't really sure what to do, his hot headed little brother hadn't acted like this since they were seven. What had he done to calm him down? The blue banded turtle scanned his memories and then took a deep breath. Without a warning to the younger turtle, the eldest pulled his little brother into his lap and tucked his head under his chin while whispering whatever comforting words he could find. In another shocking move Raph didn't pull away, he curled into Leo's plastron and started trembling worse than before. Leo mentally slapped himself, this wasn't helping but his younger brother hadn't needed comfort before, especially not from him. If Raph ever had a problem he dealt with it himself or went to their sensei.

Leo took another deep breath and shifted. He let one arm drape across Raph's shoulders while the other gently massaged his plastron, right over his heart. The younger shivered and pressed himself closer to his older brother. The images were flashing through his mind a million miles a minute and although he couldn't block them, he had the strength to endure them. Leo, Raph had to admit had been a pillar of strength for him for years and right now, he needed that strength more than ever. The next movement was unexpected, so unexpected that Raph forgot everything for those next few seconds. Gathering up all the gentleness he was composed of, Leo slowly bent his head and nuzzled Raph's temple with his beak.

The red banded turtle curled closer and took three deep breaths before allowing the tears that had built up behind his eyes to escape and race down his face. He felt the comforting hand on his plastron move up until it rested on his face, wiping away the tears as they fell. He was indeed shocked, his older brother hadn't shown such tenderness to him in years but now that he felt it, he didn't want to be anywhere else. The next shock came when Raph pulled away a bit and glanced up at his older brother, his eyes pleading for something only they knew. Leo blinked twice, he wanted him to…it had been years but it didn't matter. All the years, nothing overshadowed him being a big brother. That was one pride he wouldn't swallow, no matter what.

Leo dipped his head and closed his eyes. Raph closed his eyes as well and he felt a slight smile cross his face as Leo left a light kiss on his forehead. This quieted the whimpers but he could feel the sobs trying to escape his throat. He curled close to Leo again but turned slightly to press his face into his neck. He relaxed marginally as he felt Leo's hand massaging his shoulder and as the other hand traveled back to his plastron, settling over his heart and tracing circular patterns around it. The move was always one that calmed him down as a younger turtle. One thought suddenly brought more tears to his eyes. He had been acting like a jerk to Leo since he returned from Usagi's world and now…oh, he was such a jerk!

Raph forced his tear filled eyes open slightly before taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his older brother. After 12 attempts to speak he finally managed a whisper.

"Leo?"

"Yes, Raph?" Leo said, gazing down at his little brother as an old spark lit in his eyes, the spark and shine of pride.

"D-do you h-hate me?"

"Hate you!?" Leo yelled and then cursed the way he had screamed.

He knew how proud Raph was, the others shouldn't see such a thing. Thankfully, their little brothers were already asleep and their sensei was in his room.

Leo took a deep breath and shook his head, "I could never hate you, you're my little brother," Leo paused for a moment trying to decide if his next words would be alright, once he believed they would he lowered his voice and shifted to nuzzle Raph's temple again, "And, you're my best friend."

Raph felt more tears spring from his eyes. Great! Now he felt like an even bigger jerk! He trembled and raised his hands to wrap around Leo's neck before pressing his face deeply into his neck, breathing heavily, trying to keep the sobs at bay. Leo tightened his arm that was still draped over his little brother's shoulders and ran his other hand up and down Raph's plastron, trying to calm him down. He was trembling so fiercely, as if he would fall apart at any moment. The eldest seemed at a loss of what else he could possibly do for his younger brother. He glanced to the side of the couch where a blanket was neatly folded. He reached out and scooped it up, unfolding it as quickly as he could with one hand while his other continued to massage Raph's plastron.

Raph opened his eyes when he felt something surround him. A small red blanket was around both him and Leo. For some reason he felt himself smile and he snuggled closer to Leo. In turn, Leo draped his arm back over the red banded turtle's shoulders and started whispering comforting words to him once again. The blanket felt like ice to the younger turtle and he wanted to throw it off but he didn't want to move. He felt Leo's hand leave his plastron and travel to his face once again, wiping away the tears as they raced down his cheeks. The eldest bent his head again and left another light kiss on Raph's forehead. Leo turned his hand, letting his palm rest against the side of his little brother's face as he watched the younger lean into the touch.

Yeah, the blanket felt cold to the younger turtle but pushing it away meant moving away from his big brother. He leaned into Leo's touch and managed to quiet his quaint whimpers for a few seconds. He let his hands fall away from around Leo's neck and into his own lap. He didn't really want to move. He wanted to stop trembling and he knew his older brother could remedy that. He didn't want to move, Leo was…so warm. With a last small smile he took a deep breath before leaning into the eldest and allowing his mind to lap into unconsciousness. The blue banded turtle glanced over his shoulder and reached out slowly and carefully, so he wouldn't wake up his brother, to flip the light switch. The illumination in the room vanished, leaving only the darkness behind. Leo decided that it was better not to move and to remain on the couch for the night, holding his little brother close.

* * *

Leo opened his eyes slowly and then closed them again to heighten his other senses. There were no sounds in the surrounding darkness but he froze as he felt the form in his arms trembling.

"Raph?" he whispered.

As if it was on cue, the trembling turtle curled closer to his older brother and ceased trembling. Leo threw off the blanket, realizing that it wasn't very helpful, for he had thought at first that his little brother had simply been cold. The blanket was very thick though. Leo knew that said blanket was much warmer than any heat his body radiated. He raised one hand and felt Raph's forehead. There was no chill to his skin and no fever. The blue banded turtle was now confused, what was causing the trembling? Maybe a nightmare.

Leo climbed to his feet slowly and carefully. His family would be up soon and no doubt Raph wouldn't want them to see them like that. The eldest made his way to his little brother's room and carefully slipped him into his hammock but as he made to pull away Raph reached out in his slumbering state and latched his hands around Leo's neck. As the eldest tried to pull away the younger turtle pulled him closer. Sighing in defeat Leo pushed Raph aside slightly and climbed into the hammock beside him. As if on pure instinct, Raph turned and snuggled against his older brother. Leo sighed and wrapped his arms around the figure that returned to trembling. Hours later Raph finally stirred and Leo was ready for a loud yelling accusation from his hot headed little brother but, the younger simply stared up at the eldest with a strange look.

The blue banded turtle glanced towards the ceiling…tonight would be quite difficult for everyone, especially for Raph.

_TBC…………_

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_AHHHHHHH!!! I'M LIKE, DROWNING IN ALL THE FLUFF!!!_

_HELP!_

_And please leave a review while you're at. ^_^_

_~Moonsetta_


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own TMNT

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Raph slammed his eyes shut as his knees sunk into the grass. He reached out blindly, letting his hands rest against the gray stone. He could hear the crickets surrounding him in the cool damp night but the soft tunes did nothing to quiet the screams that continued to echo in his head. He forced his eyes open but could only stare at the ground below, not the name on the headstone. The world seemed to be just the small moment over and over again. A light touch on his shoulder made Raph jump slightly and glance behind him.

"What the shell do ya want?" Raph asked with a sneer.

The other being made no reply, only moved to the side and raised a hand to lay next to Raph's on the stone.

"Would ya get lost already!?" Raph asked, "I don't need your help!"

The other still didn't respond. Silence overshadowed the scene and neither turtle spoke. Raph tightened his hand that rested on the headstone into a fist and growled.

"LEO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" he yelled, his head snapping up to glare at his older brother.

Leo met his eyes and held his gaze. Those orbs held no anger, only worry. Raph's own held grief and anger, but not normal anger, the degree of emotion was building. It showed as self-hate. The hot headed turtle was about to snap again when the elder leaned forward and nuzzled his temple with his beak. Raph let a small whimper escape his throat as his hand fell away from the stone and landed on the ground beside him, the dew from the grass falling onto his green skin. Leo reached up and pulled Raph close, resting his head against his shoulder. One hand massaging Raph's shoulder while the other ran gently up and down his plastron.

A choked sob escaped the younger's throat and he turned to press his face into Leo's neck while mumbling, "Shell, how do you always know?"

Leo smiled slightly and moved his hand up to trace empty patterns around Raph's heart.

"You're my little brother," Leo said so quietly and so certainly that there really wasn't another possible answer on earth or beyond it.

"I-I should've gotten there in time," Raph mumbled as sobs violently shook his frame.

"Come on, let's get you home," Leo said, scooping his younger brother into his arms.

The red banded turtle didn't fight, only relaxed as he was cradled. He couldn't really ever remember his older brother acting as such but right now he didn't care. He shivered slightly and snuggled closer to the blue banded turtle, relaxing as he found warmth and comfort from his older brother. He allowed his eyes to drift shut and his mind to slip off into unconsciousness.

Behind them sat the headstone:

_Casey Jones_

* * *

Raph sat up with gasp, gazing around his room fiercely. He slipped out of his hammock and darted out of his room. He glanced across the second floor of their home and found each room was dark. The turtle quietly padded to the middle room and took a deep breath before stepping through the large doorway. He narrowed his eyes as he stared into the darkness and saw the outline of his three brothers. Raph felt his eyes slightly tear over as watched how, even in their dreams, his younger brothers snuggled into the eldest. Leo had Mikey to his left and Donny to his right and he had an arm wrapped around each of them.

The hotheaded turtle narrowed his eyes, in envy this time and scowled. It was no fair! His loss was just as hard as the others'. Yeah, he had had more time than they had but he was hurting too! He needed a big brother too! He couldn't bring himself to blame his little brothers though. The sudden deaths of Leatherhead, April, Angel and Klunk had left the purple and orange banded turtles in depression. They, of course, stole Leo for support. Raph growled once he was outside the room and continued glaring into the surrounding darkness.

"What are you doing out here?"

Raph jumped and turned quickly, reaching for his sais, which weren't tucked into his belt. He calmed down a bit once he realized it was just Leo in the doorway behind him. Then the younger turtle became confused as he gazed into the room and saw his younger brothers in the same position they had been in. Raph sighed, once again Leo proved to be the perfect ninja.

"I just, couldn't sleep," Raph said quickly, turning his eyes away from his older brother's gaze.

Leo tilted his head slightly and then stepped forward to lay a hand on Raph's shoulder, "I'm here whenever you need me bro."

Raph mentally cursed. Leo was being a perfect big brother again, "You make me feel like a jerk."

"What?" Leo asked, where had THAT come from.

"I yell and scream at you all the time and you never scream back anymore," Raph said in a loud voice that caused his little brothers to stir slightly before lapping back into their dreams.

Leo glanced back at his two youngest brothers to ensure they were ok and then switched his full attention to his immediate younger brother.

"I can tell you're hurting Raphael," Leo said, "Time may heal all wounds, but wounds leave scars."

Raph rolled his eyes in the darkness, thankful that Leo couldn't see the movement, or maybe he did and just didn't say anything. Leo sighed and let his hand that was laying on Raph's shoulder drop and latch onto his arm.

"What?" Raph asked.

Leo smiled and felt for the edge of the second floor where he sat down and pulled his little brother down as well. Raph sat next to his older brother without argument and wasn't really surprised when an arm encircled his shoulders. He moved closer to Leo and let his head fall onto his shoulder while he took deep calming breaths. The red banded turtle didn't notice the tears falling from his eyes or when the arm around his shoulders vanished. He heard loud mumbling from Leo and Don's room. Then, Leo's voice carried out of the room.

"Shh, Mikey I'm right here," Leo whispered.

Raph sniffed and wiped angrily at his eyes and nose. He hated crying but it had become so much easier to let out emotions. It meant Leo would come to him. Suddenly, he heard the sound of cardboard hitting the stone floor beside him. A soft tissue was placed into his hand. Raph wiped at his eyes angrily still, knowing they wouldn't stop, at least not yet.

"Mikey ok?" Raph croaked.

"He's fine," Leo spoke softly, "He just had a nightmare."

"Donny ok?" Raph asked failing to hold back a slight whimper.

"Yes, Don's fine, doing a lot better actually."

"It's easier for ya? Ain't it? You didn't get as close as we did so it hurts less?"

"That's true," Leo said although he had never really thought about it that way.

Of all their human friends, Raphael was closer to Casey and Angel, Don was closer to April and Leatherhead and Mikey was close to well, a lot of people actually. The youngest was just like that, automatically making friends everywhere. The blue banded turtle considered the only actual human he was close to was the Ancient One while his closest friends lived in another dimension entirely.

Leo sighed and sat down behind Raph, pulling the red banded turtle back until his head rested against Leo's shoulder. His eyes were closed and the tears were obvious, there was a small amount of light pollution from Don's inventions that made up most of the blue and purple masked turtles' room that allowed Leo to see the shine of the silver streaks running down his little brother's face. The elder tilted his head forward and nuzzled Raph's temple, as he had many times in the past two months.

The younger turtle breathed out in a sort of half sigh and half sob sound and almost laughed, "You **always** know."

"Come on, no need to stay out here all night. Join us?"

Raph sat up strait and shrugged indifferently, as if he didn't care. Both turtles knew it was the furthest thing from the truth though. Leo smiled softly and helped the red banded turtle to his feet before turning towards the bedroom where the whimpering of the two youngest turtles spoke of the nightmares they were having. They awoke at the sound of approaching foot steps and sat up.

"Leo?" Mikey mumbled.

"Raph?" Don asked in bewilderment.

The genius turtle had thought that his immediate older brother had healed from the trauma of losing his best friend months before. Apparently, that wasn't the case. Leo motioned for them to get up from the bed and they complied. Leo leaned against the wall on the side of his bed and swept the blankets aside. He motioned for the others to join him. Mikey was the first to latch onto him and snuggled into his right shoulder. Don mimicked the movement, claiming Leo's left shoulder as his own pillow for the night. Raph simply perched on the other edge of the bed and remained still. Leo let out a silent sigh and then reached out to pull his immediate younger brother to him. Raph gasped as he felt his shell hit Leo's plastron. He tried to pull away at first but Leo forced his head under his chin.

Raph gave up right there, he needed this. Leo shifted a small measure and wrapped an arm around each of his youngest brothers while he bent his head to tenderly nudge Raph's temple. The move had become one of two that made him calm down. The eldest reached, having to stretch to grab onto the blanket on his bed. He quickly but carefully tucked it around all of them before closing his eyes and giving into unconsciousness as well, joining his brothers in their dreams.

_The End…………_

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_Whew, finally done!_

_YAY!_

_A review here? There? Anywhere?_

_~Moonsetta_


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